Saturday, February 9, 2008

Random Facts. By Ben.

How Chloe looks when she sees her daddy, confused but scared

1. I have two beautiful daughters. Unfortunately, they don't really like me. Elise does this thing where if she's reading a book on the bed with her mom all cuddly and cute, and I come over and try and participate, she throws a fit. She will physically roll/push me off the side of the bed. (Sometimes she'll let me lie there inert if I don't touch her, the book, or try and read).

I take it in stride. Besides, unbeknownst to Elise, I have another daughter in my back pocket! An ace up my sleeve, if you will (and you will). I dumped all my daddy-daughter dreams onto little Chloe (Juli, please insert cute Chloe picture).

Fig. 1 Cute Chloe pic

So, in order to realize these dreams I've been spending a lot of time with Chloe. Unfortunately, time with Daddy has a remarkably swift rate of diminishing returns--probably minutes and quite possibly seconds (Note to self: insert graph here). Chloe now has stranger anxiety to her dad (How did that happen? I'm literally home almost all the time.) She will really cry if not being held by her mom, or at least if her mom isn't within eyesight (like if she leaves the room and Daddy plays with Chloe for just a couple of seconds).

I've decided to just buy their love when they are older, it will be easier.

2. I am growing a beard (Juli, please insert picture here).

Figure 3. It is majestic!
There is one good thing and one bad thing about my beard. Good: I have a remarkable clearance from the top of my chest hair to the bottom of my beard line. There's about 3-4 inches of pure smooth neck. And, my beard line is very straight. It looks like it's trimmed, and it just grows that way. Even Juli said it looks good. I figure I have a few "golden years" of full, lush, beard coverage without the appearance of gray hairs that I should take advantage of (and boy am I!).

Bad: I can't grow a handlebar mustache, which would be pretty cool. I have this hairless part between the right side of my mustache-end and the rest of the beard (insert close up).

6 comments:

JD said...

if you need tips on how to purchase affection, i am constantly scheming with my nieces and nephew. i might have some useful tips.

nice post.

Camilla Millar said...

Ben, I actually like the beard-- it is so 'East Coast Intellectual." Fits you well.

Summer Owens said...

Angel girl doesn't like Tom for more than a few minutes at a time either. But that's only because he doesn't provide food. Whether she's eating or not she feels she must be near "the milk" as I now call myself. :)

Courtney said...

Poor Ben. I think it's just the nature of the beast. Everytime we kneel down for prayers with Addie, she comes and sits on my lap. Clay asks her to sit on his lap but she never will. She still loves her Daddy though and I'm sure Elise and Chloe still love you.

Impressive beard.

Christa said...

Classic post, Ben. We appreciate you making us laugh even from a distance!

Clay said...

I love your beard. I'm thinking about growing a stache again.